DAYTHREE: Chad is Rad (this was his idea)

The 15^th of June.

A thick layer of smog surrounds the city.

Swine Flu Status: I’m starting to give up on ever getting swine flu. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I COUGHED UP A LUNG, HELLZ YEAH!

Cool Shit I learnt at the house: Skank ribs are delicious. Just because it’s a shady butcher, doesn’t mean they don’t know their shit.

Daily Rhyme: Baha, can you dig it like a spigot, my guess is: yes you can like, can I kick it? Wicked. Lick a shot, If you happy and you know it as you clap your hands to the thick snot of a poet flow it. That’s not actually my rhyme, it’s MF Doom in a Gorillaz song but it’s totally rad and I forgot mine. It was probably as good though so don’t worry, I’m sure he won’t mind.

We got up late, it was rad. Then we got lunch at the Pita kitchen. Rad. I ended up with a yiros sort of thing. See, yiros and gyros and pitas and plates all mean different thing in different places. And in these cases I just take a wild stab and hope I end up with something rad. There were too many vegetables in mine but I managed to eat around it.

We went shopping afterwards, because I always get new clothes when I’m over here, right. Hailey had to do girly stuff so Chad was my assistant instead. He is as good as any girl, trust me. I got a polo shirt so I’m gonna come home and look like some prep kid. Like I’d just been to college or something. I got some new shorts too… I love my old ones but having to resew the buttons on every week gets annoying. Also a nice shirt that I can still dance in. And it doesn’t make me look fat.

We lounged around for a while, I played some games, and then headed off for a walk around the park with Bowie. It was about dusk, so needless to say I was pretty frightened we’d get shot. I was totally on the ready to pounce any mofo who tried to pounce us. BUT I DIDN’T HAVE MY BIG KNIFE!! That was the lesson learnt after I accidentally tried to take my pocket knife from Las Vegas to New York last time. Woops! I was going to have to rely on my close quarters skills and wits to fight them off.

The walk was about five kilometres all up. About halfway, when it was pretty dark, it turned from lovely parkland to NASTY scrub. Not nasty as in ‘this looks nasty’, though it was a little bit like that, but nasty as in ‘AMBUSHHHHH!’ All I’ll say is that my ghillie would have worked like a charm in there, and so would anyone else.

My heart rate was up, and I was scanning the surroundings HARD. People in hoodies with shifty looks ran past every now and then. It took all my will not to fade into the bushes and then jump then before they jumped us. My heart was really pounding now. My sister is blind in that light. Chad ran off ahead with the dog and disappeared. Goddamnit. It hit me then, I was suffering PTSD after my days with the squad.

Yeah, those nights just breaching around with the boys, they were coming back to haunt me. All those late night water balloon fights, car headlights blinding me, waking up the next morning to find our wasted plastic ammo strewn across the fields. The Cod Squad is pretty intense, and years of being the number one mercenary squad in the world was catching up with me. I took the dog from Chad and went down into the black underpass ahead. My eyes adjusted and THERE! Nah, just a bit of rubbish.

We started heading across the fields. No cover. There were bins everywhere. Were they all bins? I could see the house, but I knew I wouldn’t be safe till I was through the door and it was all clear. Kevin had the keys. He put them in the door. I saw someone coming towards us in the corner of my eye…

And watched them run past. We were safe. Even from the dog. It fell asleep.