June 25th; Our tour starts today. I don’t care what the weather is going to be like. I’m on a bus. Some contraption with wheels on. Wheels which go round and round.
We all woke up at about five thirty. Ben had the first shower. Ryan had the second. That was at about six o’clock. you can imagine my surprise when I woke up at six forty and Ryan was nowhere to be seen. ‘Dolt!’ I thought. He didn’t tell me he’d finished his shower. Not the best thing to do when you’re in a rush to get on a tour bus which will leave with or without you. We all got ready, met downstairs, walked to the subway, jumped on, changed train after a while, got off in Chinatown and started hiking to the address. It wasn’t a long walk, but the blocks and house numbers go a bit wonky, so it was a little confusing. I was navigating, as always.
We quite literally stumbled into our tour. A man started yelling at us. This was our tour guide. We stood around waiting for the bus to arrive. I got some pork buns. The guide opened a big blue umbrella on this bright, sunny morning and trotted off across the road. We followed, got on the bus. We drove for a while. Through New Jersey, past Newark. I had another Flight of the Conchords moment. ‘Aaaahh central park in Newwwyarkkk.’ Our first stop was the Hall of Independence. I can’t remember how long it took to get there. It’s where they signed that famous declaration of the same name. Above it stands the replacement Liberty Bell, across the road is the old one in a small museum. ‘Not enough time, not enough time, back on the bus!’ That was the guide. He held a tight schedule. Also to be seen at this stop was the original Whitehouse, the first president’s house. The chalk outline of it, anyway. It looked like it would have been a cosy affair, perhaps a bedroom, bathroom and lounge. It was smaller than our bus, in fact. What a poor deal.
Next was the big Capital Building. He didn’t explain what happened here. It looked important, and there was a big pond/fountain in front of it, and lots of statues. ‘Take pictures, then we go. Back on the bus, three fifteen, three fifteen! Bus, quarter past three.’ It seemed it was our fate and doom to take photos and be back on the bus. His name was Jon, but we soon started calling him Pum. We never explained it, but he seemed to like it. It stands for Pimp Umbrella Man. He liked to repeat things, in a lovable sort of way. He liked us in any case.
Next up was the Jefferson Memorial. I was pretty sure we were in D.C. by now. It’s hard to tell, on a bus. I should point out that apart from some Indian guys we were the only English speakers in a group of thirty. It made for funny but awkward dinner conversation. Along the lines of;
‘Would you like a drink?’
‘China,’ they’d reply, with an enthusiastic smile and nod.
The memorial was pretty impressive in any case. Everything is styled from the Greek school of big columns and domes. It feels like you’re in the ancient world. Kind of weird. Still, we bring a touch of home everywhere we go. Kate ‘narfed’ it on the stairs on the way down, twisted her ankle. The most disappointing thing is that I had just taken a bunch of photos for her and ran on ahead. Had I waited, I would have had some great shots.
‘We go to Space Museum now. You can touch the moon, Apollo lander, buy space icecream, back on the bus four o’clock, four o’clock.’ He certainly is thorough. I’ve actually understated his tendency to repeat times. He did it at least five times and then would pick up the microphone fifteen minutes later and do it again. The Air and Space museum was good though. Hendo and I opted for the Jets and Planes section, filled with guns and cool stuff, whilst the others did the Space wing of the museum, with… I dunno, not guns and cool stuff.
They had lots of jets and World War One and Two fighters from all sides, modern stealth planes, UAVs, all sorts of things. It was really cool. They had a Skyhawk sitting inside as well, which me ol’ Dad used to fly when he was in the Navy. I took lots of bad pictures. We met up and got back on the bus. Not before I got some space ice-cream though! Next up was the White House.
It’s pretty impressive, in a way. There was a guy patrolling the roof. I was disappointed to find he wasn’t ‘packing heat’ when I zoomed up on him with my camera. I was hoping for a good sniper-wielding pack on top of the building. Maybe there was a bunch of guys hiding in Ghillie on the grounds. We sat on the grass, took some pictures, touched the middle point of D.C. Back on the bus.
Time for some War Memorials. There are a couple of really cool ones, for the Korea and Vietnam war. One has a whole pack of soldiers wading through this bushy area with their oil cloaks and radio packs on. It would look more impressive but they aren’t sculptured too well. ‘Freedom is not free’ is scrawled across a wall. The other has three American soldiers, a Black, White and Hispanic man, standing together. It’s not huge but it’s done quite well. We walked up to the Lincoln Memorial. A girl called Kate Pond took our photo for us. I was looking for someone to take it and she stepped forward. We had a chat. She was on one of those leadership conferences. I guess they teach the initiative to take photos for tourists. A lovely lady though, she was excited to meet some Australians and we were excited to meet someone around our age. Ben asked about the badges she was wearing. They represented her degree and a couple of other accomplishments, though I hazard a guess that they had nothing to do with starting fires or responsible use of a pocket knife. I pointed out the badge I was wearing, stating, in Chinese, that I was on a bus tour. She was clearly impressed. I gave her my card, Ben gave her his Myspace, and we parted ways. Lovely girl.
We had dinner at a Chinese buffet (what I consider to be Chinese people’s one true weakness) which became quickly addicted too. He loves Chinese food now. Apparently he never ate too much in the past, which I find hard to process. We got off at our hotel for the night, Hendo and Ben went for a massive walk to get us some icecream, and we ate the night away. ‘Five thirty I call. Five thirty. Be awake. I call. In lobby six o’clock. Lobby six o’clock. We leave six fifteen. Five thirty I call.’
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